This article is taken from the Spring 2025 issue of

Think Global People magazine

View your copy of the Spring 2025 issue of Think Global People magazine.

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The workshop was led by Sarah Rozenthuler, an accomplished author and founder of Bridgework Consulting, which empowers leaders, teams, and organisations to achieve greatness. Sarah is a member of the faculty at Saïd Business School, University of Oxford, where she teaches on the Advanced Management and Leadership Programme.Her latest book Now We’re Talking: How to discuss what really matters, explores how approaching difficult conversations with planning and preparation can be an opportunity for growth and transformation.In her workshop she challenged attendees to think about:

• What are you not discussing that you need to talk about?
• What do you always discuss but never resolve?
• How do we cut through patterns in organisations of avoiding or attempting conversations?

“A conversation is a threshold you can cross,” she explained to the audience. “Conversations are apertures that open up things or shut them down if they are not successful.”She explained how research shows that leaders are often not trained in tackling difficult or emotive conversations and their lack of skill means that in many organisations the really big or difficult problems never get resolved. Indeed 82 per cent of managers are “accidental managers” and two thirds of meetings are unproductive, she said.“Difficult conversations are about difficult emotions. What for you is a difficult conversation?” she asked delegates, explaining that when it comes to tricky conversations, we are often less aware of the payoffs and more aware of the risks of speaking out. She encouraged people instead to think about what the positive pay out might be if you were to broach a difficult topic and engage with it successfully.The good news is leaders who combine rational with emotional approaches in making changes see their success rates rise significantly. In addition, teams with a high proportions of women are proven to perform better. “Social sensitivity is important to this and women bring it in spades,” says Rozenthuler. “We notice the quiet one in the room or if someone is tense or disappointed. Social sensitivity is so valuable but missing from so many organisations.”

What gets in the way of good conversations?

Sarah also looked at some of the blockages and issues that might stop people having healthy conversations about difficult themes. These include:

• I don’t have the time
• There are some people you can’t talk to
• Nothing will change anyway (ie I would rather not have that conversation)
• Better not rock the boat (expressing a fear of potential fallout from the conversation and even emotional damage)

Sarah said that there could be real systemic challenges and barriers to beginning such a dialogue, and it was important before you began to plan for a difficult conversation to be aware of the “inner game “of conversation, and the blocks and obstacles that might be there.She encouraged attendees to reflect on the conversations they found challenging – from advocating for yourself, giving challenging feedback to a senior colleague, making your voice heard in meetings, or coaching your team.

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Read related articles

• Encouraging the best in everyone in the workplace and supporting women and girls in fulfilling their potential
• Taking action to accelerate inclusion and gender equality in the workplace
• Celebrating the female superpower
• Think Global women: key issues affecting women’s employment

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Name it to tame it – Name the block to loosen its grip on you

Sarah explained that barriers, both internal and external, can hinder your ability to engage. She discussed the psychological principle of “name it to tame it.” In other words, by naming your fears, they lose some of their grip on you. An example, which Sarah had used herself, was to be open and say: “I’m feeling really agitated by this conversation”.Whether it is a lack of confidence, fear of conflict, or time constraints, by naming the issue that holds you back, you can reduce the fear. Sarah also looked at resources you could use to help you succeed in initiating and managing a difficult conversation and explained that although we might not want to engage with tricky issues, managing the fallout in the long run takes more time than leaning in and sorting it out.This might include actually speaking your opening line out loud, after you have decided what approach you are going to use. It might also be practising a difficult conversation with a friend, or having a personal mantra to encourage yourself when you are nervous.She suggested you “Name it to claim it” in order to tap into the strength of past successes and your internal and external resources to provide support.“Think about what you can draw on to get you across the line,” she says. “Having a difficult conversation is a skill that you can learn and practice.”In a session packed with practical advice, her major takeaways for difficult conversations include taking your seat and being present and not distracted, finding your opening line and practicing it out loud, picking your moment and place, preparing for contingencies and having an affirmation that can take you over the threshold.

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Bio

Sarah Rozenthuler is a Chartered Psychologist, founder of Bridgework Consulting, author, faculty member of Saïd Business School, University of Oxford and Associate Fellow of British Psychological Society. Through her deep understanding of coaching executives and fostering authentic dialogue, Sarah inspires leaders to collaborate effectively, amplify team potential and drive organisational change with a meaningful purpose.She is author of three successful books including the latest ‘Now We’re talking: How to discuss what really matters’ and ‘Powered by Purpose: Energising your people to do great work’.

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2 Day programme Sarah Rozenthuler will be hosting a 2-day programme, ‘Creating Change through Dialogue for Global People‘ on 18 & 19 June in Lamberhurst, Kent. For more information, please email office@bridgeworkconsulting.com or call +44 (0)7971 977774

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